just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
