Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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