we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
