I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
This baby is an asshole
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
