I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
