you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
