So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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