I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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