he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
