Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
