I wish I could teleport
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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