I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We don't watch enough power rangers
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
