I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Dignity is for republicans.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
