I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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