There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
