he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
