I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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