i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
