you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
