Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
