ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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