Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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