Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
