belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
