I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
