you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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