the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
