You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
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