is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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