I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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