my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
