Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
