The brown eye won't let me do that either.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
