i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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