Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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