are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
