Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
50% drunk capacity currently
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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