The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
