also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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