idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
