i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You may now shotgun with the bride
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
