No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
