What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
