I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
