dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
