We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
please come you make the beer taste better
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
