Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
it's like heaven, but drunker
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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