Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
