weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
