I'm really into asian looking animals
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
