im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
