Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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