You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
